When Will My 3 Year Old Stop Treating His Penis Like a Hose?

Dennis has been potty trained for well over six months now and I still cannot get the child to stop peeing all over the toilet seat.  It’s no secret that women have issues with the whole up vs. down toilet seat debate but this one requires no debate whatsoever.

I don’t care if you are male or female, YOU JUST DON’T PEE ON THE SEAT!  Period!  Nothing irks me more than when I go into a public restroom, push open the stall door and there is pee all over the toilet seat!  It’s a women’s bathroom!  I do realize that most women, including myself, will not actually sit down on the seat and will squat over it instead (I mean they are friggin gross so why would you plant your perfectly clean ass on it?) but come on ladies…if your stream misses the bowl and you end up spraying your urine all over the seat, WIPE IT UP!  Is that really too much to ask?  Why should I have to wipe YOUR pee off the seat?  I have to deal with that enough in my own house.  I shouldn’t have to do it in a public bathroom too.  Ughhh…Gross!

Sorry.  Since I am talking about toilet seat issues in my house it made me think of my distaste for public restrooms and I got a little off topic.

Back to my 3 year old who evidently thinks his penis is a hose.  Okay, I do need to give Dennis a little credit.  He was potty trained at two and a half years old which is a huge accomplishment after what I went through with my first son and trying to potty train him.   But as smart as Dennis is, sometimes it amazes me how after wetting four shirts in the same day, he just cannot figure out why it keeps happening.

The whole routine goes something like this:

D: I need to pee.

Me:  Okay.  Go pee.  Take your pants off IN the bathroom (he’ll usually just drop them wherever he is standing), make sure you hold up your shirt, and push your pee pee down.

D: Okay Mommy.

He’ll come back out of the bathroom, I help him out his pants back on, and we continue whatever we were doing before the potty break.

Then I have to pee.

I go into the bathroom but I don’t turn on the light, and I sit down on the toilet.  Huh?  WTF!!!  Why is my butt wet?  Fantastic!  I just sat in toddler pee.

It happens almost every time.  Until now.  Because I finally got smart and started turning the light on every time and fully inspecting the toilet seat before I sit down.  But I shouldn’t have to do that now should I?  Ummm…no.  Because Dennis does know how to hold his penis down and shoot it in the bowl not all over it.  I’ve watched him do it “right”.  It’s when I’m not watching that he decides to hose down the toilet.  Sometimes if I am really lucky, he will get the floor too and leave me yet another mess to clean up.  Love when that happens.  Not.

As far as peeing all over his shirt, I finally figured out why that sometimes happens after observing him when he didn’t know I was watching.  He holds up his shirt when he starts the flow, but it seems the problem is that he lets the shirt down too early resulting in a nice wet urine stain on the bottom of it.  One day this happened four times- no exaggeration.  Since I figured this out, I started making sure that I go into the bathroom with him so I can remind him what to do to avoid these little accidents.  So far so good.  I’ve got a clean toilet seat, clean floor, and a clean shirt and keeping my fingers crossed that Dennis will be able to keep up the streak when I am not there to supervise.  In the meantime I’ll have to keep up my home toilet seat inspection otherwise I will risk my own ass…if you know what I mean.

My Date With A Little Hottie

Today is Sunday and I decided to bag the grocery shopping trip (no pun intended) and take my son Alex out on a date.  Just the two of us.  Mommy and her big boy.  We went to see the movie UP in 3-D and had plans to go have lunch together at a real restaurant.  Something other than McDonalds.  Those places DO exist don’t they because if it’s not in a Happy Meal box I wouldn’t know.  Alex was so excited about our day together and to be perfectly honest, so was I. 

Alex and I rarely ever get to spend quality alone time togther so this was a nice treat for both of us.  For me it was about the time not the movie.  I just really wanted time alone with him since he always has to share me with his uber needy little brother.   Today it was all about Alex.  I told him we could do whatever he wanted to do and he chose to go to the movies.

We both really enjoyed UP but I’m not so sure it was worth the extra $3.50 to see in 3-D.  My son was extremely disappointed about the 3-D because he expected a bunch of things to be flying out at him and nothing did.  The only 3-D movie he has seen before UP was at Disney World called Mickey’s Philharmagic which he absolutely loved.  Pixar animation did another stellar job with UP but in my opinion, you can still enjoy the poor man’s version -sans the 3-D. 

I cannot believe how frickin expensive movies are these days.  I remember when I thought a $5.00 movie was a lot.  Good God by the time we got our popcorn and soda I was out $32.00.   To think I used to laugh at my mom for smuggling a couple cans of soda and a bag of microwave popcorn in her purse.  Had I taken her lead I could have saved myself at least twelve bucks and bought a cute t-shirt at the Target next door.  But, whaddaya do?  Money was no object today.   I would have paid just about anything as long as Alex was happy.

The cost of the movies ended up being a wash anyway. We both stuffed ourselves with popcorn so we weren’t hungry when the movie was over, therefore, we decided to skip having our restaurant lunch.  I had to pick up a few things at BJ’s on the way home so Alex and I settled on a slice of pizza there instead.

Today turned out to be a really nice day with my baby who isn’t such a baby anymore.  I realized that I need to make it a point to do this date thing with him more often since I know it will only be a matter of time before Alex trades me in for a real girlfriend.  A girl who will be able to hook him up with things other than popcorn and a pizza slice!

Twilight Soundtrack: Music for Mom AND Kids to Rock to!

Okay, so my addiction to Twilight has now rubbed off on my children.  Except not the books or the movie as they are obviously too young for that.  I’m talking about the movie soundtrack.   I have to say, I reeeally like the Twilight Soundtrack.  I did not pay much attention to the music when I watched the movie (and I’ve only seen it once believe it or not), but one day, I was browsing iTunes and the soundtrack was listed under best sellers.   So I checked it out.

I listened to every song on there and I actually really liked it.  So I bought the cd the next day when I was out shopping.

My kids are finally starting to get into music which is a nice and welcome change for me since until recently, the only thing I ever got to listen to in the car is the sound of Wow Wow Wubbzy on the DVD player.  So yes, I am thrilled that my boys will finally listen to music now instead.  Well evidently, I am not the only one who enjoys listening to the Twilight Soundtrack.  It is the only thing my kids want to hear as soon as we get in the car.

Tracks one and two in particular.  Track one is a song by Muse (a band I had never heard of until now) called Supermassive Black Hole.  My son Alex absolutely LOVES this song.  He’s a wannabe rock star so every time I play it, he busts out his air guitar and rocks out.  Something you’d have to see for yourself, but trust me it is friggin hilarious!  The funniest part is when he sings at the top of his lungs whether it is this song or another on and he sings the wrong words.  I don’t even bother correcting him because he gets pissed off if I do.  So I just listen and laugh under my breath.

Track two is my 3 year old Dennis’ favorite.  It is a song by Paramore (again, another band I have never heard of until now) called Decode.  I need earplugs when this song is on because Dennis screams every word.  He thinks the louder he sings the better it will be.  Amazingly, he actually knows the right words.  Oh and you can’t sing with him.  He has to have the spotlight during this tune and will freak if he doesn’t get his solo.  When Alex tries to sing along too there is an all out battle of the bands going on in the car.  I couldn’t even begin to describe how loud the two of them are.  It sounds like an animal getting castrated or something.  Deafening, screeching, ear piercing noise.

But hey, they have time to fine-tune their act anyway right?  At least they are interested in music now.  Besides, it IS entertaining for me to watch.  Who knows, according to his parents, Adam Lambert has been screaming since he was a baby and look where that talent got him.  Hell I’d be happy with an outcome like his wouldn’t you?   In the meantime, while my boys are perfecting their act, I am just going to enjoy the show.

Oh and in case you ae interested, the rest of the Twilight cd is really good too from what I have been able to hear of it - when I am ALONE in the car.  When I have the kids with me I can never get past the second song!  I’m okay with that though.  Afterall, there is only so much Wow Wow Wubbzy I can take!

A Mom Is A Job Is Now An Official Blog

I’ve joined Technorati and I’m now publishing this post so that they know I’m official. 

Yep, my blog… my thoughts, feelings, stories, and reviews aren’t validated in the eyes of the Internet unless you have a ranking on Technorati.  So I guess I can look back on this date and know I started at the bottom and we’ll just see how far I climb.  Even though I began this a few months ago, I guess if I was a beer, today would be my born on date. 

Drink up Technocrati.

Skip The Self Checkout And Save Your Sanity

So today is Sunday and Sunday is my designated grocery shopping day.  I go on Sunday for three reasons: 1)  The Sunday paper is full of new coupons - and I love me some coupons!  2) The Grocery Game shopping lists are posted on Sundays which include all of the new coupons and all of the good deals from the grocery store sale flier 3) I am able to shop in peace…aka - KID FREE!

Now in order to get the most out of my food shopping trip, organization is key.  Before I even walk out the door, I print out my Grocery Game list for the store I intend to shop at, highlight all of the items I plan to buy, and find the coupons that I need to bring with me.  I try to organize them in order of the aisle layout of the store. This saves time in the long run so I don’t have to stand in the aisle sifting through my stack of coupons trying to find the one I need.

Let me clarify that I am by no means a fan of grocery shopping.  In fact, it’s one of my least favorite things to do.  However, since no one else in my family does it, I have to, so I try to make my experience as pleasant and stress free as possible.   Well that’s the goal anyway.

So I go to the grocery store, coupons in hand, kid free, and all the time I want to spend perusing the aisles to find some good deals.   Tonight, I decided that grocery shopping really isn’t all that bad when these factors are in play.  I actually enjoyed myself.  Okay…I’m sure the time alone was the main reason for that…but still.  Well let me just say that all of that went out the window when I had to check myself out and bag my own groceries.

Yep. I actually opted to bag my own groceries.  I’m an idiot I know.  But when I was finished shopping, every checkout line was at least six people deep so I decided that I would go to the self-checkout register.  BIG MISTAKE.  Although I didn’t have that much in my cart (or I wouldn’t have even considered the self-checkout option) I immediately started to break out into a sweat as soon as one person stood behind me to wait their turn.  All of a sudden, I was under tremendous pressure to get all of my stuff scanned and bagged as fast as I could.  Of course nothing went smoothly.  I frantically scan and try to place my items in the bag as the computer voice Prudence McPrude (my nickname for one of those computerized talking bitches) is ordering me to do, and I go into a full blown panic attack.  The plastic grocery bags that are on the holder next to the scanner are falling off and when I finally got them back on the hooks, I couldn’t get them open because the plastic was stuck together.  After what seemed like hours, I finally got the bag open and when I put my box of cereal in there, the f’ing thing ripped right down the middle!  NOW I am ready to kill someone!

Meantime, there are now four people behind me waiting although at this point, I’m sure they were in no hurry because they probably were enjoying the show I was putting on - and so was the clerk manning the self-checkout  terminals.  She was working hard to correct my mistakes after Prudie kept barking at me to “please put the items back in the  bag.”  Biotch.  I know I was cursing under my breath and I had to exercise some serious self control because I was about to start yelling and screaming at the thing while beating it senseless with my cantaloupe.

Fast forward 20 minutes and I was finally done.  My items were scanned and bagged, my coupons and cash tendered and I was outta there- leaving behind  a handful of laughing strangers I’m sure.

So what did I learn from this miserable experience?  Patience believe it or not.  If I had just been patient enough to wait in line behind those six people I would have saved myself at least 10 minutes of my valuable alone time and I could have walked out of the store the way I walked in: stress and anxiety free and no one would have even looked twice at me.  Instead, I left feeling completely and utterly incompetent and ready to commit myself to a mental institution because I used the last nerve I had left battling Prudie and her cheap f’ing plastic bags.  I should have decided to skip the self checkout aisle and save my sanity.

So take this valuable tip from me and learn something yourself from my shopping trip from hell: unless you have only one or 2 items, avoid the self-checkout lanes at all costs.  If you do what I did, not only will you be wasting your time, but a perfectly good Xanax as well!!!

Power of Positive Thinking: The Law of Attraction

I’ve never been one for positive thinking.  In fact, up until very recently, I thought the whole “power of positive thinking” was down right hokey.  How could the way you think affect your life that much?

I had heard about The Secret just as everyone on the planet has heard about it by now.  There have been numerous talk shows about it.  But when the all-knowing Oprah Winfrey Show featured The Secret, word about it spread like wildfire.  Of course it did - Oprah’s word IS gospel isn’t it?  I’m not knocking Oprah at all believe me.  I’ve been watching  her shows for years and I love how real and informative they are.  So naturally, I was intrigued by the Secret phenomenon…but not enough to learn more about it.  I never even saw the show Oprah did on The Secret.  If only I had made a point to learn about it then.  Fast forward at least two years and here is my story.

My husband and I were living in a small townhouse with our two young children and dog.  After the first baby, the place was already starting to get smaller but we were able to manage.   By the time the second baby came, we new it wouldn’t be long before we would need to find another place to live.  In the meantime, we had to rent a storage unit to keep all of the stuff in that we weren’t currently using just so we could make room for all of the “baby” stuff.  At $300 a month, that put a huge crimp in our budget given the fact that I wasn’t working.  But, somehow we managed.

After 2 years of paying rent on a storage unit, we decided that it was time we finally bite the bullet and sell our place.  The timing couldn’t have been worse either because it was right when the housing bubble was beginning to burst.  We knew we would never make as much money on our place as we would have had we sold it 3 years earlier but…as they say, “hindsight is 20/20″ and at that point, there was nothing we could do about it.  To make things worse, we lived in Florida,  one of  the top 5 states to have been hit hardest by the whole housing debacle.  We knew selling our house would probably be a long, drawn out, and stressful process, but we also knew it was now or never.  We had to get out before things got even worse or we would end up with nothing.

We listed our house in November of 2007.  It was slow to get showings at first since the it was right in the height of the holiday season.  But we WERE getting them at least so we were grateful for that.  However, it was an extremely stressful time (particularly for me since my husband had to work during the week) because I had to make sure the house was always clean and ready to go for a showing at a moments notice.  NOT easy to do with 2 kids and a dog!  I tried to stay as positive as I could by reminding myself that at least we were getting showings (we were averaging one or two a week) when so many others in my area weren’t even getting one.  I was hopeful that we would sell it sooner than later.  At first.

By February we had our first offer on the place.  We were ecstatic!  Only the offer was a joke.  We tried to counter but the prospective buyers were only looking for a deal and we had no interest in giving our house away.  So we passed and decided to wait for another offer.

To call that whole experience a letdown would be an understatement.  We were back to square one and the hope of selling our house was quickly dwindling.  Day after day, week after week for months, I had the same routine.  First thing every morning, I had to make sure the house was clean.  My husband was at work so I had to do all of it myself AND try and take care of a rambunctious and needy 2 year old (Alex was in preschool at the time).  I was completely and totally stressed out and felt like I could snap at any moment.  I was soooo  sick of having to be prepared for a showing evey day and utterly disappointed when we didn’t get one.  Trying to sell our house was getting old quick.  I found myself  incredibly moody and irritable and I would bitch and complain about everything.  I was starting to feel extremely negative and convinced myself that we would never sell.  Every day became one big chore - literally - and I started to dread it.

Enter…The Secret.

My best friend came over one day and I starting bitching talking to her about not being able to sell our place.   I was going on and on with my rant and she finally stopped me to very clearly explain why we weren’t selling the house.  She told me that the reason is because all of this time we have been pushing it away from us.  “Pushing it away?  What does that mean?”  I asked.  She said that this whole time all we have wanted to do it get rid of the place and in the process, we were attracting all of this negative energy.  She went on to explain how the law of attraction works.  When you think negative thoughts, you attract negative things.  She said that we need to start looking at our house as a gift instead of a nuisance.  “A gift?  What do you mean?”  I asked.  Then my wonderful, wise friend made it crystal clear and the light in my otherwise dim-for- the- last- several- months brain went off.

We WERE pushing the house away.  We wanted so badly to be out of it that we forgot all of the things it had given us over the years.  It was the first place my husband and I bought together after we got married.  We painted every wall.  We shopped all over town for the perfect furniture to fill every room.  This was where we lived when we got our first dog together.  It was the first place we brought our children home to after they were born.  It was their first home too.  There were so many beautiful memories in this little cramped townhouse and we forgot about them all.  I was ashamed of myself for that.

My friend explained that we needed to embrace all of those things and remember all of the love that filled our home.  We needed to focus on all of the amazing memories we made and all of the good things that it gave us.  It truly was a “gift”.

We were encouraged to watch the DVD The Secret for reinforcement and motivation to keep up the positive vibes.  At that point we figured we had nothing to lose so we promptly went and bought it the DVD and watched it that night.

The Secret Changed Everything!

My husband and I watched it at least twice over the course of 2 weeks and we starting applying the very simple principle: positive thinking.  We began to look at selling our house as a wonderful gift that had served its purpose for us and one that we were willing to pass along to someone else.   We took my friend’s advice and started to embrace all of the memories we made there and stopped looking at the place as nothing more than thorn in our sides.  Three weeks later, we sold it!

Almost eight months and over 30 showings, we finally sold our house!  It took a looong 4 months to get another offer after our first one but it happened.  And this is the best part:  When the buyers were having our place inspected they got to talking with our real estate agent and what they told him made us a firm believer in the power of positive thinking.  They were a young couple with a young daughter and said that when they walked in the house they could “feel the love” in it and they knew right then that it was the place they were meant to buy.

Yes.  I am now a FIRM believer in The Secret and the Law of Attraction.  My husband and I sincerely believe that the fact that we sold our house 3 weeks after we changed our way of thinking is no coincidence.  Going through that experience also made us look at everything in a new light.  We now try to apply this mindset to everything we do and it has made a HUGE impact on our entire family.  It is truly amazing how powerful your own thoughts can be.  Knowing The Secret has completely changed my life and I have no doubt that if you watch it, it will change yours too…for the better!

Hard to Believe…But Even Superwoman Gets Sick

I’ve realized something about myself this week.  I REALLY do bitch rant a lot more than I should.  But in my defense, I have more than enough reason lately.  Take this morning for example.

Last night, after I dealt with the nightly bedtime battle with both kids (which by the way was harder than usual and I had to exercise serious restraint from completely flipping my wig), I started feeling sick:  sore throat, chills, aches, and a fever.  So I loaded myself up with cold medicine and went to bed.  It’s almost funny really.  As the pills were sliding down my throat, I was thinking to myself that I would regret taking them in the morning.  Not because they wouldn’t help, but because I knew I wouldn’t get enough hours of sleep for me to not have that awful cold medicine hangover in the morning.  I was right.

My older son came in our room and woke me up at 6:30 a.m. because he had just had  a bad dream.  Of course with as much effort as I could muster, I welcomed him in our bed but in my head I was thinking “WTH?  Why TODAY of all days?”  I would never complain about being woken up to comfort one of my kids for something like that.  But seriously…today?  When I am the one who is sick and in desperate need of a good night’s sleep?  Bad timing is an understatement.

I never did fall back to sleep completely although I kept drifting in and out of consciousness.  Soon enough BOTH boys were up and asking me to please get up and go downstairs.  All I could think to myself was “why ME?  What do I have to to to get  a solid night’s sleep?  For the love of God I can’t even be sick.”  As much as I would like to believe that I am Superwoman - like my husband thinks I am - I AM only human and I DO require basic human needs like every one else…sleep being one of them.  Why is it that when I am the one who is sick I’m expected to ignore it and go on with my motherly duties as if everything is peachy?  I always have to be the one to “suck it up” ?   Does my husband do that?  Ummm….not even close.

When my husband is sick the world might as well end - for him AND me.  He is ten times worse than our kids when he has a cold, never mind something more serious like the flu or stomach virus.  He moans in agony like he is some dying moose on the side of the road.  He whines and complains the whole time while sniffing and sucking it all up his nose instead of blowing it out into a tissue.  I think I would rather be caned than listen to that!   Add the moaning to the nose opera and I practically force feed him the cold medicine and anxiously wait for it to kick in and knock his whiny ass out.

Now I know I sound like a heartless witch and I admit that I am no Florence Nightingale, but there is only so much I can take.   There have been a few times when all four of us were sick at the same time and guess who had to suck it up those times.  You got it.  Me.  Again.  So now I’m taking care of THREE babies instead of two.  My husband will say ” but you’re Superwoman.  You can handle much more than I can.”  Gee ya think?  BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE  A FREAKING CHOICE!!!  Why are men such babies?  Why couldn’t I have one that just wants to be left alone when he’s sick?  I know they’re out there.  Most of my girlfriends say they have the “baby” version of a sick husband too but it still doesn’t make me feel better about him acting like that.

Unfortunately, my HusBaby is not gonna change so all I can do is pray that he stays healthy (while I try to load him up with mega doses of multi-vitamins, OJ and Emergen-C).  I know in the grand scheme of things it could be worse.  And if this is the worst I have to deal with then I should just accept and get over it.  Yeah I can think that way when I’m NOT having to watch a grown man whine like a two-year old while he’s calling out my name and saying “oh God help me” a hundred times.

In the meantime, I get to carry on the with my perceived Superwoman status and “suck it up” yet again.  Funny because when I’m sick, I am the one who wants to be left alone yet I have no choice because evidently, Mommy’s aren’t allowed to get sick are they?

Happy Mother’s Day…OFF!

Happy Mother’s Day to all of my fellow Moms.  Wow…We FINALLY get a day off!

Yes, if you were lucky-as I was today- you had a nice break from your many mom duties.  I  began my day with a couple extra hours of sleep which is always welcome since it is such a rarity in my world.  When I did eventually make my way downstairs, my husband and boys showered me with cards, gifts, kisses and hugs.  Soooo nice!  Then my husband went above and beyond to make me breakfast (homemade french toast with fresh strawberries) which he NEVER does so it really WAS a BIG deal (and very delicious I might add).

And if all of THAT wasn’t enough, the cherry on my Mother’s Day sundae was having the house to myself for a few hours.  My hubby was very gracious and took the boys out to the park for a while just so I could be alone in the house and do whatever the heck I wanted to.  Can you say “WooooHooooo”?  I was loving every minute of it too.  What did I do with my precious time alone?  Absolutely NOTHING!  I must admit that for a split second I did consider washing the dishes and throwing in a load of laundry, but I got over that urge REALLY quick.  Instead, I parked my ass on the sofa and got lost in Tivo heaven.  I watched at least three hours of mindless television (my soaps that I am weeks behind on) while simultaneously surfing the Internet and checking in on my Facebook page.  Ah yes…life was good!

But as we all know…all good things eventually come to an end and before I knew it, the whole crew was back before I could force myself to squeeze in a nap.  Boo hoo.  Oh well…it was nice while it lasted.  I did however learn a very valuable lesson about myself in the few hours I had alone today.  Four words: I NEED MY SPACE!  I realized that I really DO need to spend more time alone.  For the last 6 years my entire life has revolved around being a wife and a mom.  I rarely EVER do anything fun by myself or with my girlfriends.  I NEED to make time for those things.  I need my OWN hobbies and interests fulfilled - outside of motherhood.  I need to tap into those things again for my own sanity.

Don’t get me wrong.  I wouldn’t change being a mom for anything in the world and I love my kids more than my own life.  But, I’ve finally started to see that I can love them from a distance as well.  There is a reason why we have “girls night out” and I don’t get nearly enough of them.  Who am I kidding?  I haven’t had more than two or three of them since I had my first baby six years ago.  Well no more!  I am ready to find that balance that I have  desperately needed for so long.  After all, I DID have a life before I had kids right?  But having them should have only enhanced it, not buried it.  I blame myself for that.  But it’s ending now.  I CAN have a life outside of motherhood and I know I will be a better mother and wife for reclaiming my individuality again.  Girls cruise anyone?

Although I am “back on the job” tomorrow, I will say that I thoroughly enjoyed my day off and I hope all of you did as well.  Happy Mother’s Day to all Moms near and far. You ROCK!

Twilight Books for the Young AND Old and I’m HOOKED!

So yes. I have finally become yet another follower of the oh so popular Twilight books. I swore I wasn’t going to cave in but when my 60 year old mother is reading them and swears that they are THAT good, I just had to see what all the rage was about. Mistake. I am now HOOKED!

When I heard the saga was a vampire love story geared to teenagers no less, I was in no hurry to join the Twilight ”cult”. After all, I’ve never been one for that type of movie, never mind book. But, I went ahead and bought Twilight anyway-the first book in the series. I must admit that the beginning moved a little slow for me. But, after reading on a few more chapters, I was definitely intrigued as to what was going to happen next.

Why is this book such a hit with readers young and old? I can only answer why I enjoyed it so much. First, it is a very easy read. It has to be since it is geared toward “young adults”. Second, the author Stephenie Meyer is an excellent writer in that her words are extremely descriptive so you can clearly imagine every scene, every person, every place she writes about in the story. It was easy for me to imagine Bella walking around the halls of her high school or sitting at the lab table in biology class. I felt like I was there with her since I could see it so clearly in my mind. Maybe it helps that I am not that old to remember my own experiences in high school so I could relate to many of those scenes-which makes me like the book that much more. I felt younger in a way I guess. Plus, the obvious reason I got so hooked on these books is that I’m a sucker (interesting choice of words huh?) for a good love story. However, I was surprised that I could get into a story THIS much about a vampire.

Actually, although these books have been out for awhile now, I think I have been reading them at the perfect time-although I know my husband wouldn’t agree. The reason the timing is good is that these books have been a release…an outlet for me. I have been so on edge lately. I’ve been very moody, easily irritated, and extremely short-tempered with my friends and family. I was starting to annoy myself. In fact, I was starting not to like myself at all. I think the fact that I have been living, breathing, eating, and sleeping motherhood for the last 6 years has finally taken a toll on me. I realized that I have lost myself. Yes, I am a daughter, wife and mother and I love being all of those things and wouldn’t trade it for anything, but somewhere along the way I lost my own individuality.

I know that in a way, I am to blame for that. I should have made time to spend alone or with girlfriends when my kids were even younger than they are. But in my defense, both of my boys were very needy babies and had severe separation anxiety so I could never bear to leave them even when I had an opportunity. I realize now that I really did need that precious time for myself and I am sorry I didn’t get it then. So what does any of this have to do with reading the Twilight saga? Well…it finally occurred to me that I could get excited again about other things that have nothing to do with being a mom. For those few hours every day that I get lost in one of those books, I feel like my old self. Just me. No responsibilities. Of course, that depends on how many times the kids interrupt me while in my mind, I AM Bella Swan! I usually have to read when they are asleep and by then, I am so tired from my mom job that I can’t stay up long enough to read as much as I want to. Then I have to deal with my husband getting pissed off that I am spending my valuable time reading a book when I could be doing other things.

Another reason  (at least for me) why I’m so into these books is because it dawned on me that in the last 6 years I have not read ANYTHING other than books and magazines that had to do with babies/toddlers/preschoolers/kids. I have read tons of books on how to get your baby to sleep through the night, nutrition for kids, toddler tantrums, discipline, etc. but not one ADULT novel or anything “fun”. So my hubby needs to back off and let me live in my fantasy world for a few weeks while I finish the last two books in the Twilight series. There is NO way I can stop now. That would be like watching an episode of LOST and then never watching again! So I say bring on Eclipse and Breaking Dawn and let the fantasy continue!

Laundry, Laundry and MORE Laundry!

Does it ever end?  We are only a family of four and I can’t keep up with the laundry.  What do larger families do?  The one that always comes to mind when I ask myself that question is that Utah family with 18 kids.  The Duggar family.  Have you heard of them?  I once saw a documentary on them and they do seem to have a finely tuned, smooth operation going there.  Geez with 18 kids (and counting) you’d have to have to have organization down to a science right?  Anyway never mind all of that.  What I really want to know is…how does this woman even still have a uterus?  Seriously.  And does she EVER sleep?  More importantly, with 18 kids, who in the hell has time for sex?!?  Good God I barely had enough energy to make the dough for bun number two!  Not to mention, Mrs. Duggar has been pregnant 18 times (that we know of).  Did I mention how amazed I am that the woman still has a uterus? God bless her.  I couldn’t do it.  But I digress…back to the topic at hand: laundry.

It’s not so much of actually doing the laundry that I hate.  It’s putting it all away.  I don’t mind folding it but I freakin HATE putting it away.  Especially when I lived in a house where the laundry room was on the main floor.  Must have been a MAN that drew up the plans for that place!  Yeah, what a real genius he was.  He obviously didn’t consider that not only would one have to lug all of the dirty laundry downstairs, but she’d (cuz we all know 9 times out of 10 it is the woman who’ll be doing it) also have to bring it all back upstairs and put it away once it was all clean.  That right there was when I decided that I despise doing laundry. 

What a royal pain in the ass it was to carry it all back upstairs (God forbid I had a basement and the washer and dryer were down there).  Getting it downstairs wasn’t as much of a big deal because where our laundry room was, I could just throw it all down from the second floor and it would land in the hallway right outside the laundry room.  It did serve as quick entertainment for the kids though as they climbed up Mount Dirty Duds.  However, it obviously wasn’t as easy to bring the washed version back up. And I am not that much of a lazy person…really.  All I can say is that my constant bitching finally paid off because it was one of the rare occasions when my husband was listening to me.  He went and bought me an awesome washer and dryer for my birthday.  I’m guessing he figured if it was a state of the art washer and dryer with all of the bells and whistles (which it really is), then I would actually enjoy the dreaded task of washing clothes.  Sorry hunny.  Find me one that will wash, dry, fold and put it all away too and then we’re in business!

So, what is the moral of the story?  Don’t buy a two-story house with a main floor laundry room!  Unless of course your master bedroom is  located there too.  Still doesn’t help with the kids clothes though so scratch that: Don’t buy a house with a main floor laundry room OR master bedroom! 

I’m serious ladies.  My husband and I are currently house hunting and I won’t even look at the house if it has a main floor utility room.  And I am NOT budging on that one!

NO DEAL!

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