Isn’t America Fat ENOUGH?

Seriously.  Aren’t we fat enough?  Every where you turn there is some new story or article on how fat we, as a nation are, and continue to become.   Even our kids are fat.  Yet with all of the focus on healthful eating and exercise, companies are STILL finding ways to perpetuate the problem.  Case in point: Kentucky Fried Chicken’s new Double Down sandwich.

What in the hell is this thing?

This unappetizing hunk of fat meat is called the Double Down.   Eat it, and not only will you be getting double the meat, but you might as well double the fat…on your gut, hips, and thighs!  KFC is estimating it has 590 calories and 31 grams of fat.

It’s kind of ironic that they have been trying to re-brand themselves by changing their name and going with just the initials KFC.   They came out with their new grilled chicken but then follow it up with this colon clogger.  That sound you hear may be your arteries hardening just from looking at the picture.  In fact, the picture almost looks like a cross section of what your arteries may look like after eating one.

I mean I guess I sort of follow the logic that if you want to reduce your carbs, why not eliminate the bread and up your protein with another slab of chicken?   But if that is the case, why not make the sandwich with grilled chicken instead of fried?  Am I the only one that thinks the Double Down looks doubly disgusting?  You cannot tell me that KFC couldn’t come up with another way to appeal to the low carb-loving population.  Perhaps something with less fat?  I think KFC is totally missing the point here.

This video sums it up quite nicely.

But I’m curious…what do you think?

Bare Minerals Makeup: Does It Give You The Coverage You Need?

The other day I went over to my local Ulta store on a quest for some new makeup.  The reason?  I am breaking out like a 12 year old going through puberty.  Umm helloooo….I’m almost 37 freakin years old!  What the frig?  I’m waaay too old for this crap!

Anyway, until my appointment with the dermatologist next month (earliest one I could get), I need to find a makeup that covers my acne without breaking it out more.  So I’m wondering what makeup gives the best coverage? I did a bunch of research and everything I read said that the best full coverage makeup for acne prone skin is mineral.  So I figured why not?  I can always return it if I don’t like it.

I will say that I was extremely skeptical about how well mineral makeup would cover my skin.  It is really bad right now.  Really bad.  I need major coverage to mask these gompers (my word for massive mountain-like zits).  But I took a chance.

So I’m at the Ulta store looking at the Bare Minerals makeup that I had heard and read so much about.  People really rave about it.  I wasn’t sure yet.  Picture it.  A group of teenage girls came in (probably between 14 and 16 years old) and they were looking at the make up too while discussing which color to buy.  I overheard them saying how much they “love” Bare Minerals.  I have no idea why I even bothered but I did.  I asked them what they thought of the Bare Minerals makeup.  Here is how the conversation went:

Me:  So you all use Bare Minerals?  How do you like it?

Teenage Girl:  Oh yeah.  I love it!

Me:  Does it give you good coverage?  Because obviously I need that right now (pointing to my zits)…(still not sure why I was asking a young girl with porcelin-like skin who probably never had more than one pimple a month in her life if she gets “good coverage”!)

Teenage Girl:  Yes it does.  Hold on let me get my friend.  Her mom uses it.  Sara, come here.  Doesn’t your mom use Bare Minerals?

Sara:  Oh yeah.  She loves it!  She’s always saying how much she thinks it makes her look younger.

Well THAT sold me on it.  A TEENAGER telling me that her MOM uses it because it makes her look “younger”.  Okay, I know I’m old enough to have a teenager but did she have to remind me of it by comparing me to her mom?  Hearing that did NOT make me feel better!  On the bright side, at least she didn’t call me “ma’am”!

That being said, I went ahead and bought it anyway.  My goal was to buy a full coverage makeup that was oil-free, not pore-clogging and would give me good coverage.  And if an added bonus is that it would make me look younger, I’ll take that too.  Why not right?  But just to be clear, the coverage I am seeking is for zits…NOT age.  I’m not quite there yet since I  still look pretty decent for my age  although, I’m sure the days are numbered <coughs>!

So here is my take on Bare Minerals.

I bought the TAN starter kit for $60 from Ulta.  A good value since the three brushes that come with it are worth that if you purchased them alone.  The kit includes:

• TWO shades of bareMinerals SPF 15 Foundation: Medium Tan & Tan (.06 oz/2g)
• Bare Minerals Tinted Mineral Veil (.1 oz/3)
• Bare Minerals Warmth All-Over Face Color (.06oz/2g)
• Flawless Application Face Brush
• Handy Buki Brush
• Maximum Coverage Concealer Brush
• How-to DVD
• Bonus Gift - 1oz. mini bareVitamins Skin Rev-er Upper(1oz/30mL)

I also bought a primer by Smashbox as suggested by the makeup “expert” at Ulta since the Bare Minerals one called Prime Time apparently frequently gets returned because people complain that they don’t like the feel of  it.

I watched the DVD that came with the kit and I’ll be honest, it’s kind of a snore.  Don’t get me wrong, it helps you see how to apply the makeup but the “swirl, tap, shake off the excess” directions from Leslie Blodgett, the CEO of Bare Minerals and star of the DVD got rather old real quick.

After suffering through watching the DVD, I was now ready to try Bare Minerals for myself.  I did everything the DVD instructed me to do but I gotta be honest, I didn’t get that “natural” look that it promised and it certainly did NOT cover my acne.  So was mineral makeup the best for full coverage? No.  Not even close.  I tried building the coverage as suggested but still…no.  Acne was as evident as it was before I put the makeup on.  However, I decided I’d give it the benefit of the doubt and try it again thinking maybe I just needed to “practice” applying it.

The next day I came out out of the bathroom all Bare Mineraled up and showed my husband my “natural” face.  His response?  “Don’t take this the wrong way but…you don’t look any better but you don’t look worse either.  Just um…different.”

Huh?

Is that supposed to make me feel better?  Yeah…not so much.  Sooo, after examining my face in every mirror and under every light, I decided that either I bought the wrong color for my skin tone, or Bare Minerals is just the wrong makeup for me.

I went back to Ulta that night and spoke to someone different at the makeup counter.  She happened to have the same skin color as me so that worked out good.  She tried mixing the tan and mediums together to get a perfect match for me but even she agreed that nothing looked natural about it.  I have tan, olive skin with yellow undertones.  I initially bought the tan starter kit but I thought maybe it was too dark.  That’s why she mixed the medium and tan together.  However, no matter what colors were mixed, there was absolutely no perfect color match for me therefore, I ended up returning the entire kit for a full refund.

Is Bare Minerals a good makeup?  Believe it or not, I think it really is….for certain people.  I think it’s a great choice for young girls just starting to wear makeup since it really does look “natural”…on people who have clear complexions (or just a couple of pimples here and there) and smooth, even skin tones.   If I had a young daughter, I would not hesitate to try Bare Minerals on her first.  I like the fact that it has a light feeling and has non pore-clogging ingredients which are both important on “virgin” skin.  It also looks great on people (young and old) who have no major skin issues and who have nice clear, smooth skin.  It may be a good choice for acne-prone skin in that it will not contribute to your breakouts, however, I most certainly WOULD NOT recommend Bare Minerals for coverage.  If you are trying to cover acne,  melasma, or sun damage, in my opinion, the coverage is not sufficient enough for problems such as those.  That being said, I would definitely consider trying Bare Minerals again after my skin clears up AND if I could figure out the correct color for my skin of course.

In the meantime, per a friend’s recommendation who has had similar skin problems as the ones I am currently dealing with, I am now using Lancome’s Teint Idole Ultra foundation to cover up my acne from hell.  DING DING DING!  We have a winner!  So far I am loving it.  It is oil-free, has great coverage yet feels very light which I love, and the color is perfect!  Hallelujah!

I’m Baaack!

I know I have been MIA for a while but I was on vacation so I took a vacation from everything…if you know what I mean.  I went down to Florida to visit my parents for a couple of weeks.  It was a great time and we packed in a lot of fun stuff for the kids to do but still not enough time for me to do what I wanted.  I didn’t get to see half of my friends while I was there which stinks but I know I’ll be back again next summer at least so I hope to try and make up for it then.

It’s amazing how fast two weeks goes.  But I had some nice quality time with the P’s and so did the boys.   More importantly, I got to spend some much needed time ALONE!  I guess that’s why I wasn’t too upset not seeing a bunch of my friends.  As much as I would have liked to, I wanted to just veg out and do my own thing.   Alone time is non-existent in my world so when I have someone to watch my kids, I take full advantage of it.  I did a lot of shopping…without having to rush home.  One day I think I was out for eight hours!  My feet were killing me at the end but it was so worth it.  I was able to look at everything I wanted to without having a kid take off and hide in the clothes racks making me a nervous wreck while I tried to find him.  I also got to try stuff on in the dressing room without having my three year old crawling under the door.  Oh and the best part, I didn’t have to rush off to take one of my kids to the bathroom right after I gathered a whole bunch of stuff in my arms that I wanted to try on.  Seriously.  It never fails.  Every time I go shopping with my kids, I ALWAYS have to stop what I’m doing because inevitably, one of them has to poop!  So friggin frustrating.  I swear there is something to be said for diapers!

I also got to enjoy a day at the spa.  It would have been better if my mom could have been there to enjoy it with me (she was selfless yet again and not only watched my boys but gave me her spa gift card too-LOVE you Mom!).  Oh and she let me drive her car when I was there.  Her brand new smokin’ hot convertible!  I cannot tell you how excited I was to drive that thing!  I drive a mini van in my real life so do I really need to explain why I was thrilled to be driving my mom’s car?

However, as they say, “all good things must come to an end.”  I am now back home to reality.   Although I must confess…it’s good to be home.  Plus, I missed my hubby.  He stayed behind to work and take care of the dog and the “fort.”  Oh and I must say that he did an outstanding job keeping the house clean (which is HUGE for him!).  He even did his own laundry (had to call me to ask how to work the washing machine but still…A for effort!)!

I’m sure us being away was a nice break for him too.  He got to do whatever he wanted for two weeks; go out with friends, sleep in late, not shave (hopefully shower though!) and watch hours and hours of movies for “guys who like movies”.  Kinda like he was a bachelor again.   How bad could that be???  It was nice though because he admitted how much he appreciates everything I do when I’m here…especially the cooking.   That was good to hear :)  He even had a dozen roses waiting for me when I walked in the door from the airport.  Awww….how sweet is that?  I am one lucky girl!

So yes, it was a great vacation but we are all glad to be home.  Back to the daily grind now.  The boys start school and soccer next week so I’m getting organized and ready for that.  It was a fun summer but I am sooo ready for school to start.  My little guy is starting preschool this year so I will have three days a week and three whole hours to myself!  Oh what to do, what to do (she says with a hint of sarcasm and devilish grin)?  Actually, I know exactly what I will be doing.  Working on ME.  I am starting my 90 day fitness challenge next week and I am so ready (stay tuned for progress blogs on that)!  I am stoked to have alone time because I so need it.  What mom doesn’t?   I think those three hours, three days a week will be good for all of us as I’m sure I will have a whole new attitude and hopefully, I’ll be less irritable!  It’s amazing how time to myself can lift my spirits and overall mood SO much.

Here’s hoping that all you mom’s out there have a smooth and stress-free (relatively anyway) school year.  Be sure to enjoy the time to yourself.  I know I will!

I’ve Decided Not To Be So Hard On Myself

It’s no secret that lately I have been a little depressed about getting older.  I went shopping again this weekend and after trying on a bunch of clothes I decided that well…nothing has changed and I am STILL depressed.

So, I have decided to take action.  Soon I will transform my body into the lean machine that has lived inside of it for the past 30 some odd years.  The body that has been yearning to be set free from the “full hips” or “loose”  jeans and into a pair of “skinny” ones.  However, you will have to stay tuned and wait for me to return from my vacation.  Give me a good week or two before I start my 90 day fitness challenge.  I plan to blog it to let you know what I am doing and my progress and results of course.

In the meantime, I will no longer be as hard on myself as I have been the last couple of months.   Why?  Because I have realized that my situation could be A LOT worse.  Take for example this guy.  All I can say is

Oh.  My.  God.

Wow.

Yes.  When you can fit a firearm in between two layers of FAT that is on YOU…um…I’m thinkin’ you’ve got way more serious problems than being in jail.  In fact, I would think being behind bars would actually be a blessing in disguise for this man.  He’s on a restricted diet whether he wants to be or not right?  He’s bound to lose weight eventually.

On the flip side, maybe he was hiding the gun in his rolls of fat so he could threaten the prison guards…you know, to bring him more food.

Things that make you go hmmm…

It IS really sad though.  It breaks my heart to see when people get this large.  He’s only 25 years old!  All kidding aside, I sincerely hope he gets his weight under control because as I said before, prison will be the least of his problems.

Never Thought I Would Be A Mountain Kinda Girl

My family and I drove over to the NC mountains this weekend and all I can say is OMG….soooo beautiful!  I have only seen the mountains in Virginia when we went to Wintergreen Resort to go skiing  and tubing this past winter.

This time we went to Boone, Blowing Rock, Sugar Mountain, Beech Mountain, and Grandfather Mountain.  We wanted to check out some other ski areas we might consider trying for our ski trip next year so we figured we’d visit them during the summertime when we could navigate the roads better since we wouldn’t have to worry about ice or snow.

Thank goodness we did.  If we had made that trip for the first time in the winter, I would most definitely need a Valium to make it up through those mountains.  Holy cow.  Not only were my ears continually popping with each twist and turn, but half the time I couldn’t even look out the window because we were so high up….with NO GUARD RAILS on the side of the road either!

When I was looking though, the view was absolutely spectacular!  It is almost indescribable really.  I can only imagine how beautiful it must be in the Fall when all the leaves are changing (and we WILL go back for that!).   No matter we we were, each direction I turned my head to look, there were mountains.

Having been born and raised in South Florida where everything is FLAT and PLAIN looking (unless you’re lucky enough to live by the ocean), this view was new to me and a sight to behold.  In fact, it was so amazingly beautiful, that I imagined what it would be like to live there all year round.  Boone is a college town as it is home to Appalachian State University, which by the way is a GORGEOUS campus.  Still not as as incredible as the University of Florida (UF Alumni and MAJOR Gator fan here) but a close second.

Downtown Boone is adorable with it’s quaint little shops and restaurants too.  Just a few miles down the road there are other major retail stores such as Walmart, Kmart, and Old Navy, to name a few.  There is even an outlet mall with Coach and Gap!  What I loved about the area is that although it is old, it has charm and character but at the same time, it is infused with larger well known stores and restaurants.  It is quaint, but very well kept, which adds to its appeal.

My hubby and I could soooo see ourselves retiring there.  In fact, we would probably move there tomorrow if we could.  The weather was absolutely perfect too.  Mid 70’s with low humidity during the day, and mid to high 50’s at night.  It’s the end of JULY and it was in the 50’s?  How awesome is that!  I’m not a fan of the summer OR the heat so I couldn’t have asked for anything better.

If you are of fan of nature and the outdoors there are endless possibilities for you to explore in the area as well.  We hiked through a forest to find a waterfall which was amazing.  I had never seen one in real life before and its beauty was breathtaking.

Yes we will definitely be back to visit the mountains in the Fall and I cannot wait!  Now that we know better how to navigate our way around it won’t be as intimidating I’m sure.   Next time, we plan to rent a cabin instead of a hotel room so we can get the whole “mountain experience” and see what it would be like to actually live there.  Who knows?  Maybe living there would get old after awhile.  Maybe I’d get sick of all the shady trees, winding mountain roads and cool weather.

Maybe.

Nah!

Wordless Wednesday: This Company Is HARD To Forget

This photo is pretty much self-explanatory.   We took a trip to the NC mountains this past weekend and drove past this crane somewhere between Boone and Blowing Rock.  Notice the tag line: “The we get it up people.”   Sooo….if you are in the market for an “ERECTION”…these “specialists” are your guys!  Pretty um…cough…HARD to forget their name huh?

A Boy and His Tie

If you have read my About page, you have seen that I’ve dubbed my boys Alex (as in Alex P. Keaton from the classic 80’s show Family Ties) and Dennis (as in the Menace-because well, God love him but he IS a menace).

Well, I have to say that my pseudonyms couldn’t be more appropriate.

This past weekend I took Alex back to school shopping.  Just the two of us.  No crazy 3 year old Dennis scaring me half to death because he is hiding in the clothes racks and not answering when I call him.  Or me being forced to play his little game of “chase me” where he takes off ahead of me so fast I have to run to catch up to him.  Oh no.  No thank you.  I left his little butt home with daddy because shopping with Dennis is sure to reward me with nothing more than a suite at the Rubber Ramada.

Alex on the other hand, is a pleasure to shop with.   He actually loves to shop.  Maybe because when he was a baby, in between his baby music and gym classes, I was constantly dragging him all over town from store to store while I shopped for various things (mostly for him).   He didn’t have a choice though but fortunately, he was usually pretty good.

He is six and a half now and about to go into first grade.  Wow.  Where does the time go?  When I told him we were going school shopping he was all about it and could not wait to go.

So we get to the mall and we go to the boys section of a department store.  The first thing Alex sees is a long-sleeved, plaid, button down shirt.  He wanted it baaad.  However, it cost more money than I was willing to pay (why are kids clothes so expensive?) so I told him we would keep looking since I was sure I could find something similar and cheaper somewhere else.  He was NOT happy with me.

Until he saw it…A RED.  SATIN.  TIE.

If you could have seen the look on his face when he spotted that tie.  I could tell he was picturing himself wearing it before he tried to put it on.  It was a zipper tie for kids.  Very easy.  He was so excited to find such a precious accessory for his first grade wardrobe and begged me to buy it for him.   It was 97 cents.  Seriously.  It must have been a clearance item from Christmas.  Shoot for 97 cents, I figured “why not?”…so I bought it.

I told Alex that unless it was a special occasion, he would not be wearing the tie to school.  He understood but I am not exaggerating you when I say this;  if I would let him, that boy would wear a suit and tie to school EVERY day.   He loves to wear ties.  Hence, my pseudonym for him:  Alex P. Keaton.   He was the ONLY boy at his kindergarten graduation who dressed up and wore a tie (his choice of course).  All of the other boys wore shorts and t-shirts.

So our first back to school purchase was a 97 cent tie and Alex was thrilled.  I probably could have stopped at that and he would have been fine with it.  Except, the next thing he wanted was a new white button down long-sleeved shirt.  He remembered the one he wore to graduation was getting too small so he wanted a new, bigger one.  I said “okay, if we find one I’ll buy it for you but right now we need to buy clothes that are practical for school.”

We continued through the mall and found a ton of great sales where I was able to pick up several items for school.   Alex was happy with the selections but he was starting to stress that we hadn’t found the white shirt he wanted so desperately to wear with his new tie.

I’m not kidding.  I knew if I didn’t find and buy him a new white long-sleeved shirt I would never hear the end of it.  So we pressed on.

And there it was.

Alex spotted the shirt that he was on the quest for and it was in his size.  Hallelujah!   So naturally, I bought it.  How could I not?  The shopping extravaganza was now deemed a success…buy Alex’s standards anyway.

Finally, we decided that we did pretty well with our purchases and went home.  What do you think is the FIRST thing Alex did when we got home?

He took his new loot and disappeared to his room for a good ten minutes.  When he finally emerged, he was wearing the full ensemble he had pictured himself wearing while we were shopping:  the long-sleeved white shirt, his new jeans, and that red satin tie.  Classic Alex P. Keaton.  I wish I had taken a picture of him.

He came down stairs, modeled his his new outfit, and sat on the couch to watch TV.

I asked him if he was going to change his clothes.  After all he couldn’t possibly be comfortable.  Nope.  No, he was “fine.”  He sat there dressed like that for at least 15 minutes until I made him go get changed.  And the only way I was able to convince him to change was by telling him that he was going to “ruin his tie.”   You really had to be there but it was hilarious!

So yes, the Alex P. Keaton pseudonym is more than fitting for my son.  I have NO idea where he got his meterosexual tendencies because he sure as hell doesn’t get it from my husband whose entire wardrobe consists of t-shirts and shorts.  I think it’s pretty cool though not to mention extremely adorable.  Maybe I should look at getting him into modeling for children’s catalogs.  Better yet, maybe he can design his own ties for kids.  Ooh yeah that’s it!   He’ll have his own kid tie line and make mommy and daddy lots of money.   I think I might really be on to something here.  Move over Armani!

The NO Sleep Solution: Nurses, Sirens, Delivery Trucks and Cleaning Ladies

Everyone knows that sleep is important.  If I don’t get a good night sleep, I am a total grumpy witch.  My husband is even worse.   Thankfully, Alex has pretty good sleep habits.  He could sleep through an explosion.  Dennis on the other hand has a serious  problem with sleep.  You may have read about the Indigo Dreams Sleep CD we use to try to help him fall asleep.  I think maybe I have finally realized his sleep issues started at birth.

We used to live in Florida by the beach.  When I was ready to give birth to my first son Alex,  the hospital my husband and I chose in which to deliver him had a nice birthing suite that had a view of the ocean.  We thought that would be a wonderful, calming atmosphere for our child to be when he first entered this world.  And it was.

When it was time for Dennis to bless us with his presence we tried to get the same birthing suite.  However, it was being remodeled due to the damage it had sustained when we got blasted by three hurricanes in one year.  So we had to settle for one of the suites on the other side of the hall.  Dennis was a planned c-section so it was going to be a lot less stressful than the first time around.  He was delivered in the afternoon and there were no complications afterward, so once he and  I were checked out and got the “all clear” from my doctor, we were able to go back to our room.  The whole experience was of course exhausting, so we all just wanted to get some rest that night.

My husband slept on a fold out bed which was like some torture device and since I had just been filleted like a fish had a c-section it was obviously going to be tough to sleep to begin with, but we all finally dozed off.  Minutes after we began our slumber, the nurses started coming in to check on me, take my blood pressure, give me pain meds, etc. which naturally woke all three of us up.   That was okay though since it had to be done.  The nurse left and we all fell back to sleep shortly thereafter.   Until…a screeching, blaring siren that sounded like a fire alarm woke us all up AGAIN while simultaneously scaring the crap out of us since we were all in a dead sleep.  Then another nurse came into our room to assure us that everything was “fine.”  Annoyed, we all managed to fall back to sleep anyway.

But not for long.

We are awakened yet AGAIN by the familiar “beep, beep, beep” sound of delivery trucks backing up.  Evidently, hospitals get deliveries at all hours of the night (like 3 AM) and instead of enjoying the view of the ocean, we were graced with the noises (and view) of a loading dock.  Wonderful.

Minutes after that, we were awakened by the siren again.  The nurse came in again to let us know that everything was still “fine” but this time, we asked what the siren was for.  It turns out it was the baby Lo-jack system (those ankle bracelets that keep strangers from walking off with babies in the hospital).  The room at the end of the hall was right next to the exit door and if the people in that room had their baby too close to the door it sets the alarm off.  Great design, huh?

So here is the cherry on the sundae.

By this time it was probably around 6 AM.  We had not had more than an hour of consecutive sleep.  There was a knock on the door.  A woman walks in and asks if she woke us up.  Let me think.  It’s six o’clock in the morning, the room is dark and it’s quiet.  What do you think Genius?  Uh, yeah you did wake us up biotch!

“Hi. I’m so and so, the Head of Housekeeping.  I just wanted to let you know that later today, we will have someone come in and clean your room and if there is anything you need you can call me.  Here is my card.”

Huh?  Are you freakin’ kidding me?  I’m in a hospital and you WOKE ME UP at SIX’ O’CLOCK in the MORNING to tell me that someone is going to clean my room?!?!  I just had a baby for Pete’s sake!  I’m exhausted, in pain, I have been up ALL night listening to sirens and delivery trucks, I’ve been poked and prodded by nurses around the clock and my friggin boobs are sore and feel like they are going to explode.  I could give two $%&*$  who you are and that someone is going to come in later today to clean my hospital room!!!   Honestly.  How asinine could this woman be to wake me up just to tell me she was having one of her staff members come to clean my room?  If it was policy to let the current occupant of the room know they are going to clean it, then tape a note to my door since hello???  I JUST had a baby and I’m SLEEPING!!!

After that whole scene I was beyond irritated.  I told my hubby that I didn’t care if he had to fold me in half at the seam, but to just get us the frig out of there so I could go home.  If I couldn’t get a good night sleep at least I’d prefer to do it in my own bed.  When my doctor came to check on me that day I explained everything that happened and how miserable and exhausted we were staying in the hospital.  Ironic since the hospital stay is supposed to help you REST and RECOVER and provide round the clock help that you wouldn’t get at home.  NOT my experience AT ALL.

Thankfully, my doctor was extremely sympathetic and understanding about our horrible experience and she agreed that we could be discharged that day if I felt up to it.  I practically sprinted out of bed and packed up my baby and my belongings.  I could not get out of that place fast enough!

I still have that lady’s business card to remind me how stupid that was - not that I will EVER forget it anyway.

Ya know, after thinking about that time again I am starting to believe that both of my boys’ current sleeping habits have a direct correlation to their birthing stories.   Recounting this whole thing  just made me realize… Alex is very calm and serene, just like the experience in his room was.  Dennis is like a wild banshee, just like the experience in his room was.  Maybe that explains it.

So, if by some chance (though slim or none) I ever decide to go ahead and have another baby, I think I will seriously consider a home birth…just in case!

Wordless Wednesday: Extremely Rare Photo

This is an EXTREMELY rare photo which seemed unlikely to ever be captured on film.  Is it Bigfoot?  The Loch Ness Monster?  Rosie O’ Donnell with her trap shut?

NO!  It’s my husband actually putting his dish in the dishwasher… Halle freakin’ lujah!!!!!

Getting Old Sucks

So since it is ridiculously hot this summer, I had to go out this past weekend and update my summer wardrobe.  Not because I have nothing to wear.  No, I wish that was the case.  I had to go shopping because nothing freakin fits me!

Apparently, this past winter I was storing fat like a bear.

I am so depressed.

I swear I have the Delta Burke collection in my closet.  The sizes go from 4 to 10.  Right now I am in the middle.  I have gained only eight pounds since last summer but still…that is at least a size, if not two.  Ugh!

The kicker is I have been working out all summer and doing the Weight Watcher’s point thing (my favorite diet that I’ve been on 700 times and always works).   But it seems to be taking longer to lose these days.  Why?  Because I am getting…gulp…old!   That dreaded excuse that I used to hear my elderly counterparts say is now becoming my own reality.  I’m getting older so “my metabolism is slowing down.”   How can that be?  How did I get here already?

Sure, next summer will be 20 years since I graduated from high school but it still feels like yesterday.  I am back in touch with old friends (thank you Facebook) and I still feel young.   So how did I go from once counting the days until I turned 21 and could get into bars, to praying that time would stop right now so I don’t have to suffer yet another gray hair and be forced into “mom” jeans because my fat arse can’t squeeze into anything else?

Did I mention how depressed I am?

“You’re as young as you feel” they say.  Who in the hell are they anyway?  Well whomever they are are full of crap because the mirror doesn’t lie.

Yes, let us discuss the dressing room mirrors.  If I wanted to see every lump and bump on my backside I would use a magnifying glass.  Seriously!  When I go shopping for myself, I wander around the store and take extra care to pick out the clothes that I think will actually look good on me.  I know what my body can wear but more importantly, I know what it cannot.

Daisy Duke shorts…um definitely not.

Skinny jeans… on my pear shaped body?  No way.

Mini skirts…nope.

Bikinis…don’t even go there.

So after what seems like hours of carefully choosing what I want to try on, I finally get to the dressing room to model my selections.  Nine times out of ten I will put it on, look at myself in that oh so depressing mirror, and want to cry.  If I am lucky, I may end up with a t-shirt or two, but hardly ever, will I like any type of bottom.

Then I leave, completely and utterly disgusted with myself.  I feel like all of my hard work exercising and dieting is for naught so I go home and bury my misery in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.  Ha!  Just kidding.  I would never do that.  Please after seeing every imperfection in that dressing room mirror, that last thing I want to do is eat.  What actually happens is that I get pissed!

I curse my body and my parents for giving me these genes and wish they were both former Olympians.   Then, when I’m done blaming everyone else, I remember what I DO have and try to be grateful for that.

This is only weight and it WILL come off.  Eventually.  I know now that I just have to be more patient and may have to work harder to make it happen but hey, that will make the journey much more gratifying in the end right?  Yeah I know that sounds like a bunch of BS but it helps me get through it so back off!  LOL!

Women age gracefully huh?  Good for you Jamie Lee Curtis.  You go ahead and embrace your gray hair, wrinkles, and mom jeans.  Oh and I am so glad that Activia yogurt keeps you “regular.”   I am NOT aging well and I’m not ashamed to admit it.  In fact, I hate every part of the aging process.  But I WILL defy it for as long as I can.

Time to amp up the workouts and reel in the diet plan.  I WILL get there again.

Until then, the next time I go shopping the only thing I will be buying is a purse or a pair of shoes.  No need to set foot into a dressing room for those!

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