A Boy and His Tie

If you have read my About page, you have seen that I’ve dubbed my boys Alex (as in Alex P. Keaton from the classic 80’s show Family Ties) and Dennis (as in the Menace-because well, God love him but he IS a menace).

Well, I have to say that my pseudonyms couldn’t be more appropriate.

This past weekend I took Alex back to school shopping.  Just the two of us.  No crazy 3 year old Dennis scaring me half to death because he is hiding in the clothes racks and not answering when I call him.  Or me being forced to play his little game of “chase me” where he takes off ahead of me so fast I have to run to catch up to him.  Oh no.  No thank you.  I left his little butt home with daddy because shopping with Dennis is sure to reward me with nothing more than a suite at the Rubber Ramada.

Alex on the other hand, is a pleasure to shop with.   He actually loves to shop.  Maybe because when he was a baby, in between his baby music and gym classes, I was constantly dragging him all over town from store to store while I shopped for various things (mostly for him).   He didn’t have a choice though but fortunately, he was usually pretty good.

He is six and a half now and about to go into first grade.  Wow.  Where does the time go?  When I told him we were going school shopping he was all about it and could not wait to go.

So we get to the mall and we go to the boys section of a department store.  The first thing Alex sees is a long-sleeved, plaid, button down shirt.  He wanted it baaad.  However, it cost more money than I was willing to pay (why are kids clothes so expensive?) so I told him we would keep looking since I was sure I could find something similar and cheaper somewhere else.  He was NOT happy with me.

Until he saw it…A RED.  SATIN.  TIE.

If you could have seen the look on his face when he spotted that tie.  I could tell he was picturing himself wearing it before he tried to put it on.  It was a zipper tie for kids.  Very easy.  He was so excited to find such a precious accessory for his first grade wardrobe and begged me to buy it for him.   It was 97 cents.  Seriously.  It must have been a clearance item from Christmas.  Shoot for 97 cents, I figured “why not?”…so I bought it.

I told Alex that unless it was a special occasion, he would not be wearing the tie to school.  He understood but I am not exaggerating you when I say this;  if I would let him, that boy would wear a suit and tie to school EVERY day.   He loves to wear ties.  Hence, my pseudonym for him:  Alex P. Keaton.   He was the ONLY boy at his kindergarten graduation who dressed up and wore a tie (his choice of course).  All of the other boys wore shorts and t-shirts.

So our first back to school purchase was a 97 cent tie and Alex was thrilled.  I probably could have stopped at that and he would have been fine with it.  Except, the next thing he wanted was a new white button down long-sleeved shirt.  He remembered the one he wore to graduation was getting too small so he wanted a new, bigger one.  I said “okay, if we find one I’ll buy it for you but right now we need to buy clothes that are practical for school.”

We continued through the mall and found a ton of great sales where I was able to pick up several items for school.   Alex was happy with the selections but he was starting to stress that we hadn’t found the white shirt he wanted so desperately to wear with his new tie.

I’m not kidding.  I knew if I didn’t find and buy him a new white long-sleeved shirt I would never hear the end of it.  So we pressed on.

And there it was.

Alex spotted the shirt that he was on the quest for and it was in his size.  Hallelujah!   So naturally, I bought it.  How could I not?  The shopping extravaganza was now deemed a success…buy Alex’s standards anyway.

Finally, we decided that we did pretty well with our purchases and went home.  What do you think is the FIRST thing Alex did when we got home?

He took his new loot and disappeared to his room for a good ten minutes.  When he finally emerged, he was wearing the full ensemble he had pictured himself wearing while we were shopping:  the long-sleeved white shirt, his new jeans, and that red satin tie.  Classic Alex P. Keaton.  I wish I had taken a picture of him.

He came down stairs, modeled his his new outfit, and sat on the couch to watch TV.

I asked him if he was going to change his clothes.  After all he couldn’t possibly be comfortable.  Nope.  No, he was “fine.”  He sat there dressed like that for at least 15 minutes until I made him go get changed.  And the only way I was able to convince him to change was by telling him that he was going to “ruin his tie.”   You really had to be there but it was hilarious!

So yes, the Alex P. Keaton pseudonym is more than fitting for my son.  I have NO idea where he got his meterosexual tendencies because he sure as hell doesn’t get it from my husband whose entire wardrobe consists of t-shirts and shorts.  I think it’s pretty cool though not to mention extremely adorable.  Maybe I should look at getting him into modeling for children’s catalogs.  Better yet, maybe he can design his own ties for kids.  Ooh yeah that’s it!   He’ll have his own kid tie line and make mommy and daddy lots of money.   I think I might really be on to something here.  Move over Armani!